


Tale of a King, The

by HASA_Archivist



Category: The Lord of the Rings - J. R. R. Tolkien
Genre: First Age, Humor
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-06-26
Updated: 2015-06-26
Packaged: 2018-04-06 06:48:14
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 915
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4212046
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/HASA_Archivist/pseuds/HASA_Archivist
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>A Silmarillion story: a King we all know reminiscing about a loss of his. Now entered in the Make 'em laugh - challenge: I hope I understood the rules correctly.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Tale of a King, The

**Author's Note:**

> Note from the HASA Transition Team: This story was originally archived at [HASA](http://fanlore.org/wiki/Henneth_Ann%C3%BBn_Story_Archive), which closed in February 2015. To preserve the archive, we began manually importing its works to the AO3 as an Open Doors-approved project in February 2015. We posted announcements about the move, but may not have reached everyone. If you are (or know) this author, please contact The HASA Transition Team using the e-mail address on the [HASA collection profile](http://archiveofourown.org/collections/hasa/profile).

A great king I was, with a jewelled crown, a throne and a castle, and many  
subjects more or less loyal, as subjects go. I had also enemies and I was  
wise enough to fear them, so my castle was not a confectionery palace with  
open terraces and large stained-glass windows, not that such style would  
suit me anyway. No, I ruled from the greatest fortress there ever was.

Now I had one enemy who was very annoying. He was not the king of a  
neighbouring land, but a mere outlaw that wandered in my lands, the last  
survivor of a band of his likes. He was a desperate man who feared nothing  
and slew many of my servants, and though I had set a great prize for his  
head, he hunted my hunters and they ran away from him. Finally I sent an  
army against him, with my most trusted Servant in command, and the  
Desperado was forced to flee. I would have wished him dead, but as it was,  
I doubted I would ever see him again. For where he fled there were terrible  
lands full of monsters and horrors, end even though there was a Kingdom of  
my enemies beyond those perilous lands, it was a realm that would not  
welcome him. I always enjoy when my enemies rid me of each other.

But not a year had gone when the Desperado entered my realm again. My  
trusted Servant caught him and some others disguised as my subjects walking  
right past his tower. Clever as he was, he could not get their names out of  
them, so he threw them into his dungeons, torturing them and killing most  
of them, until only the Desperado was left. Of course I learned only later  
that it was him.

But then a lady came and sung a powerful song at the gates of that Tower,  
and when my Servant heard it he smiled, for he knew her by reputation: she  
was the Princess of that enemy Kingdom I mentioned before, and he knew I  
would give him a great reward for her. But he failed in his attempt, that  
loyal but foolish one, for the Princess was not alone: she had with her a  
monstrous Hound that fought my Servant and overcame him. And my Servant  
surrendered with tears in his eyes, that coward. And the Princess freed the  
Desperado and they left my realm together.

My Servant had gone to live like an animal in the wilderness, but  
nonetheless I heard of what had passed and it filled me with doubt. For the  
horrible Hound was still running loose, and the Princess had the keys to  
the Tower, and I still did not know the reason the Desperado had come to my  
kingdom for in the first place.

So I raised a great Watchdog that was no dog, but from a pedigree far more  
awesome. And I fed him with my own hands and took him for walks and groomed  
him, and he grew to be a huge and faithful Watchdog indeed. Never have I  
had a better pet. At first he lay at my feet in front of the throne, but  
then I put him to earn his meat and made him lay at the gates of my  
fortress.

But the day came that two entered my very throne-room: one of my female  
servants and one of my hounds, and the hound slid under the throne and I  
took no notice of it. Instead I looked at the woman and my gaze literally  
stripped her off her clothes (there are many advantages in practising magic  
and getting good at it). And as she stood there I saw she was not my  
servant after all, but the enemy Princess. She admitted as much herself,  
and offered to sing to me and entertain me.

She was a pretty one indeed, dark-haired and fair-skinned, and I was filled  
with desire thinking of all the kinds of entertainment she could offer. So  
I listened to the song, and I would have watched the beautiful singer too,  
but the shy little thing disappeared from my view, possibly to get her  
clothes back. Her song was the fairest thing I have ever heard, like the  
song of a siren. And just as treacherous, for this too had an enchantment  
in it.

I began to wonder how she had got into my castle past the Watchdog, and why  
was my hound keeping company with her, and why did there issue from beneath  
my throne a stench like something long dead?

But it was too late. All my guards had fallen asleep and my crown felt so  
heavy on my head it bent both my neck and my will. Then something soft and  
sweet-scented fell on my face, and I fell too, asleep and to the floor.

When I awoke I lay on the floor, my servants in a circle around me  
witnessing my embarrassment, and my crown had fallen from my head. And when  
I looked at it anger filled me, for one of my most precious jewels was  
amiss, one of the Three that I loved. But the thieves I could not catch,  
the accursed Desperado dressed in dogskin and his pretty girlfriend.

I don't know what I miss more, the jewel or the woman that took it. Blast  
it, who am I cheating? I know perfectly well. I have two jewels just like  
the lost one, after all.


End file.
